Koffing Up A Lung
by Brenna Snow
Summary: Franken Stein, leader and instructor of Death City's PreGym, is expecting a child with Marie, so he, being a responsible soon-to-be father, decides to quit smoking. Again. Unfortunately, his wife has a strange sense of humour of these kinds of things. [Pokemon AU]


**Obligatory Pokemong AUs FTW!**

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Franken Stein, the leader and instructor of the Prestige Precept Centre—PreGym, as it was commonly known— in Death City, had decided to quit smoking. Again. Indeed, his previous attempt had failed, but he was determined to succeed this time around. He and Marie had a child on the way, so it was only fair to them.

But why did Marie have to have such a strange sense of humour about these things?

"Was this necessary?" asked Stein, looking at the two Koffing floating before him. Neither were emitting smoke clouds, so he hadn't resorted to holding his breath or covering his face with his shirt yet, but it was going to happen eventually. He just knew it.

"But you love me~!" insisted Marie, looking up at him, her eyes practically sparkling. His petite wife had mastered the art of cuteness, but her looks could only get her so far, however.

"That's irrelevant," said Stein, adjusting his glasses. "Why would you give me two Pokemon that are the living embodiments of air pollution when the point of me quitting smoking was to not pollute the air around you and the baby?"

Marie clicked her tongue at him, indignant, and put her hands on her hips. "Don't be such a grump! It was a joke. You're one to talk, anyway. Or don't you remember when you gave me a Mareep and told me you found my sister?"

Ah, so that's what this was about. Of course.

"I thought my punishment for that was the fact that my clothes always have a buildup of static electricity when it's around? I haven't been able to touch a doorknob without being electrocuted since then, Marie."

"That's not the Mareep, Franken," said Marie, holding a hand to her chest. "That's me." Then she leaned against him, her back against his chest. "Can't you feel the sparks between us?"

Stein inhaled sharply through his nose and then exhaled slowly. "...Yes..."

Here they went again.

Turning and poking at his shoulder, Marie said, "It's just electrifying, wouldn't you say so? I mean, I'm shocked we didn't bring it up earlier."

Stein refrained from rolling his eyes as he responded with "It's good that we were able to discuss it in our current conversation."

"Better late than never! And it's so positively charged, I'm really amped up about it."

"Electricity puns are really more your element than mine, aren't they?" he admitted, somewhat disappointed that she had taken all of the good puns before he even had a chance.

"Watt makes you say that?" she asked, smiling sweetly.

"The topic seems to spark your creativity more than it does me," he said with a shrug.

"I guess I'm a natural conductor for this sort of thing!" Marie declared, her hands on her hips and her chest puffed out confidently.

"You're pushing it with that one." Stein placed a hand on her head and ruffled her hair gently.

In response, Marie stuck her tongue out at him. "As if they weren't revoltingly obvious before."

Stein sighed. "Okay, that's enough, before you blow a fuse."

"Watch it, the frequency of these puns is off the charts!"

"Amazing," Stein deadpanned. Turning away from her, he then said, "Now, I should figure out what I'm doing with the sentient smog clouds..."

"Their names are Thing 1 and Thing 2, not sentient smog clouds," said Marie, clearly displeased.

"I'm not sure if those names are much better. They'll have to live out their lives named after characters from a children's book, and who deserves that, really?"

"It's cute. Besides, Mr Whiskers didn't mind his name," said Marie, referring to her Skitty. "And I recall a certain scientist naming one of his Pokemon Screwball." She paused, glaring pointedly at him.

"I named that Magnemite when I was 10, Marie," explained Stein flatly, fully aware that, although he was quite brilliant, he wasn't very creative with nicknaming his Pokemon. Except when it came to Victor the Rotom. That was a decent one.

"Technicalities!"

And it was in that moment that Thing 1 and Thing 2 felt it was best to spew noxious gas, guffawing in the strange way that only Koffing could, forcing the Stein and Marie to flee or else be reduced to coughing their lungs out. Figuratively.

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Author's Note:

Heyo! DollyPop12 and I did an impromptu RP over skype and this is what resulted from it. She did Marie's dialogue, I did Stein's, and I wrote everything else. I'm hoping to use it as the basis for a longer Pokemon AU fanfiction featuring Stein and Marie, but we'll see how that works out.

Remember, feedback is greatly appreciated and encouraged. Thanks for reading!

Cheers,  
Brenna Snow


End file.
